Sunday, 4 April 2010


4.30 in the morning on Easter Sunday!

I think I was woken up by the fridge beeping. It does that. Very annoying, and if we could find the manual, or if the website even listed our model then perhaps we could sort it out, but we've tried fiddling with the three dials inside and it still beeps and the only thing that will stop it is a quick switch off and switch on again. Its probably developed an attention whore personality. WTF does it need three dials for anyway? Its a fridge!

Well I've had too much sleep this weekend already anyhow I guess. I fell asleep on the sofa again last night and no one woke me up. Probably due to the amount of food I ate yesterday. What a meal! Ben and I went around to my sister Madeleine's house for "lunch", and as you'd expect lunch to be a relatively light affair we were surprised - but joyously pleased - by the roast dinner that appeared on the dinner table. Madeleine is a brilliantly fabulous cook & baker and so even a "lunch" would normally be greeted by a rumbling of the stomach and drooling.

Roast Pork stuffed with Apricot & Sultanas that was cooked to perfection and almost fell apart in your mouth. Roasted Tomato & red Pepper pieces, boiled rice with Parsley, a medley of green vegetables such as Broccoli, French beans, Mangetout and Peas in the pod. It was wonderful. Then for desert she had made a large - bordering on huge - chocolate cake with cream inside. Its hard to find a word to describe it except "aaaahhhhhh!". Everyone had a massive piece except me as I asked for only half the bucketful the rest were eating & that was accompanied by Strawberry and Blood Orange pieces. To say we were bursting would be an understatement.

That was the great thing about yesterday. Unfortunately it transpires that Madeleine is moving to Africa to be with her husband Paul who is seconded over there for a work project. Well obviously this is a good thing for them as being apart must be terrible. I think I was the last to know about it though. I got wind of it in an email from Paul a few weeks ago but no one replied to my query about it and I asked again last week which was when I was told the basics. I know my brother must have known before I did as he'd had a chance to reply by snail mail letter and I suspect my other sister knew before me also. Sigh! Never mind though.

The thing that Ive been mulling over while laying on the sofa for the past hour is that every ones moving away from me. Hence the title of the post, as this is the word which keeps reoccurring in my head as the most apt description. Ever since my parents passed away things seem to have been breaking apart, mostly amicably, but still we are a family who appear to be splitting like a slow motion film of a star exploding.

Parents deceased and buried so far away as to make it difficult to visit them.
A brother who relocated to the north of Scotland who feels we all dislike him, who treats me like a child and who I cant be bothered to argue with any more.
A sister who relocated to Cornwall (and another amazing cook by the way).
Her daughter who emigrated to the US.
Her younger daughter who now lives in East Sussex.
Now Madeleine relocating to Africa.
In September Chris will move away to Wolverhampton to attend university.

hah! if I was being humorous I might think it was something I said! Do I smell?

Its hard to explain, but we've always been a close family and within a matter of a few years it just all fell away. I guess I'll get over it. Its just the middle of the night and my head was wandering with thoughts, and one depressing thing leads to another before you can stop it. No doubt when everyone wakes up it'll clear and then as days progress on other things will become more important.

I do miss everyone though. Despite living in this so called modern age of communication, people get on and do their own things and forget to talk. When everyone used to live within a few miles of me it was kind of the same, we wouldn't chat massively regularly, but it was a feeling of knowing they were there that was comforting. Now they aren't.

Sod it. Cheer up! Happy Easter!

1 comment:

  1. ./hug Hope you had a good easter and cheered up a bit. Sad to hear about people moving away, but you gotta keep on keepin on!